Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Lesson #3 : The Fragment and Phrase Theory.

It appears that a haiku must be divided into two sections - what JR calls “the fragment” and “the phrase" - and should only be as long as one breath, although it takes two to speak correctly. There needs to be a syntactical break separating the verse into two distinct divisions, and it pays to be aware of which two lines you wish to make into the phrase.

Here I have made the first two lines "the phrase", although it can also be the the second two lines. It also appears often to me that the haiku is cyclical where the last line returns the reader back to the beginning:




snaw'draps
sta'nin shoulder-to-shoulder
cauld March blast


I also notice that haiku's do not start lines with capitals as with most other poetry. Very inscrutable!
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2 comments:

  1. Regina Piroska (Gina)March 10, 2010 at 12:22 AM

    not sure your intent with the 'language' ... i hope to learn the more i read you ...

    i like this haiku ... possibly dont need standing ...

    snowdrops
    shoulder to shoulder
    March winds

    this might even be a (slight) segue to a pivot - shoulder shoulder march winds ...

    nice poetry >>> Gina
    http://ginaseye.blogspot.com/
    http://fyneartstreasures.blogspot.com/

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  2. daviddrawsandpaintsMarch 10, 2010 at 4:04 AM

    Thanks Gina for visiting and for your observations.
    My main purpose with the language is to speak in my own local Glaswegian dialect. It may be rough at times but it gives me pleasure to try to form the words and educate the world :o). I want my voice to be distinctive. Perhaps like Hugh MacDairmid?
    Perhaps I should have just stuck to drawing and painting but I find this Japanese form of poetry fascinating and all about living in, and capturing, the natural moment. I want to express something of what I see in words as well as paint.
    As you see I am just at the beginning of this journey and learning each day, so thank you for your suggestions on this image which simplifies. I may actually drop the word 'March' since I like the term 'cauld blast' - more redolent of the higher altitude and latitude I live at! Hopefully I'll iron these problems out and get better at it as I go.
    I'm glad I found your 'bluemoon' site. You have already given me much to think about.
    Thanks,
    DAVID

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